THE DIRTY SPOKANZA GRAVEL GRINDER.
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The Dirty Spokanza 2019 Results

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Hammer Nutrition provided feedbags with gels and electrolytes as well as Recoverite recovery drink for the folks on the big loop. Folks on the Group W ride ended at the Big Barn Brewery, so they scored their own brand of recovery drink! UNFI provided Cliff bars and Be Kind Rewind Bars. Roast House Coffee donated their Winter Brew beans for primes on the big loop. Velofix was out on the course making sure everyone was rolling and warning riders about the ice. ALL the shops helped out too: Mojo, North Division, Bike Hub, Wheelsport, Bicycle Butler, Trek Store Coeur d'Alene...
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Women's Peloton:

PictureLeft: Jennifer Cowgill Right: Liz Davison

1st Place: Jennifer Cowgill
2nd Place: Liz Davison
3rd Place: Leigh Bowe

Wheelie Prime: Leigh Bowe
Big Air Prime: Leigh Bowe
​Virtual KOM: Liz Davison


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Leigh Bowe going big at Beacon!

Men's Peloton:

1st Place: Daniel Perry     
2nd Place:
Matt Bowe
3rd Place: Zane Degraffenried

Big Air Prime:
Alder Threlkeld
Wheelie Prime: Spencer Horton

Brick Prime 1:
Micheal Boyer
Brick Prime 2: Spencer Horton

Virtual KOM: Tim Crum  
  • 8,595 feet
Trail Booty Prime: Shiggy
  • "Rare Golfball Mushroom"

Group W Ride Report
By Kim Anderson

PictureKim Anderson in her natural habitat.
The 2019 Dirty Spokanza - Group W 🤘
I am a mountain biker. Weird skinny tires and riding next to cars are things that are very foreign to me. So if someone were to tell me back in March that in 7 months I would be riding clipped in on a drop bar gravel bike in my first road/gravel event with 12% grade climbs and over 3,000 ft of climbing - I would have laughed at this person... Like, snorted my coffee and then spit it at them.

But that's the thing about Spokane and our bike community... you find yourself doing things you once thought were outside your wheelhouse because you have the support and encouragement of people who have your back not only when you're on the bike, but also in life.

Sappy sentiments aside - The Dirty Spokanza (Group W!) was one of my favorite days spent on two wheels to date.
I had, what I'd like to think, a classic rookie start to the day... I made the trek down to the port-o-potties with a buddy (Cj), thinking I had plenty of time before Justin sent us off, but some unexpected struggles ensued (probably not what you're thinking right now, but I'll leave this alone). I walked back up the hill to my bike and my buddy, and he tells me, "Kim, they left."

I slouched as I thought, "oh good, the slowest person in our group who also has no idea where the route goes, is now the last person to start - this ride just turned solo." Whelp. Nothing to do but ride your heart out now!

We started pedaling. CJ shouts back to me - "I'm gonnna catch them!" And minutes later, yep, solo.

A guy rode past me... And he was wearing orange, thank the Lord! He was soon way ahead of me, but his orange jacket stayed just within sight during pivotal moments when I would have otherwise made a wrong turn. I pedaled harder.
I caught up to a girl wearing bright pink - It was Liz! She was killing it, riding the full loop on someone else's bike. She inspired me to keep trying to catch my group. We pedaled on.

Pavement suddenly turned to gravel, and the gravel was going up. And it kept going up. I rode up to a few other riders who were also doing the full loop... and here I found Spencer. This was a second boost of energy, seeing another friend out there. We chatted, and we pedaled. Jennifer also made an appearance here - it was a strange and awesome thing to me, running into so many friends on random Green Bluff roads in the middle of nowhere.

Spencer disappeared at some point, but soon after, the road leveled out and I could make out Jon Amend's blue sweater Jersey - my group was up ahead waiting for me. I think I smiled pretty big at this point because at 10 miles into this thing, I wasn't sure I'd see them again.

After a few minutes spent joking around over the shenanigans of the morning, someone said "let's ride!" And we were back at it. We were back on gravel that was going in the upward direction - the theme of this ride. But let me tell you - painful climbs on a bike are always much more bearable when you are surrounded by friends suffering with you (to more or lesser extents, of course).

We made it up to a crest in the route, so we stopped to regroup, beer and whiskey were passed around (complements of Jon Abernathy and CJ), and along came Leigh, limping up the hill - another badass friend doing the full loop, but her knee was not getting with the program. So naturally, we adopted her.

She didn't find out until later that she buddied up with the special group that had no idea where we were going. And Patty! She came pedaling up the hill, worried that we were waiting for her, but we assured her this was our pace. We should have kept Patty around because she actually knew where she was going. The rest of us veered to stay on Tallman Rd, while Patty took the 180 degree turn to the left: Madison Rd. Me being in the back, I looked at Patty, and looked at my group up ahead, and thought, "Patty knows where she's going." But in solidarity, I pedaled after the group.

I caught up to them at an intersection, phones pulled out, discussing which way to go. I eventually broke the news to them that Patty went the other way. We weighed our options for an overextended period of time, and decided, still very non-committal, to skip the 2 miles we missed and keep going forward.
 
It felt like smooth sailing at this point, back on pavement and thinking the end must be near. But this is where Sands Rd happened... A rocky dirt road, and whether it was or wasn't, at this point it felt like the steepest climb yet. I was in my highest gear, standing to pedal, and going so slow I thought I was going to eventually just come to a stop and fall over. But I kept pushing one foot down after the other, as if biking through a puddle of molasses. We all were (well, most of us).

The end of the climb was reached, somehow without falling over - Things flattened out and we stopped to regroup again. Blood began making its way back into my toes. We were back in the sun, and back on flat, smooth gravel. The actual home stretch. We rode the last few miles towards Big Barn, beers, and burgers.
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Full loop next year?

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Where are we, HERE?!! Oh wait, I think we're here.

Gratitude:

A huge thanks goes out to all the riders, these kinds of rides exist entirely for you. A whole herd of riders came from the far off land of Seattle, and even one from Wenatchee, you guys really kicked this ride up a notch. A huge thanks to Craig from the Big Barn Brewery for unwittingly hosting the Group W Grinder. Of course, thanks to all the sponsorific folks at Hammer Nutrition, Roast House Coffee and ALL the shops, and all our friends who work at all the shops for your support and encouragement for this goofball endeavor. Thanks to David Blaine of Central Food for inventing The Midnight Century, the ride that got this thing rolling. And most of all, thanks to my beloved wife, Lynn Short, for all her help and support and telling me, "No, really, GO RIDE!!"
We'll be back again for round three on Sunday, October 4th. In the mean time, you keep it dirty, Spokanza, and enjoy this new hit single from The Weird Sisters, the official band of The Dirty Spokanza!

The Dirty Spokanza 2018 Results

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With a record breaking turnout, we had a dirty dozen riders!

1st Place: Clint got lost and still brought home the rubber chicken. Winner buys the tacos, "because with great speed comes great responsibility!" Actually, Nathan bought the tacos, but we get by with a little help from our friends.
2nd Place: Ryan Wade brought home the little rubber froggy AND carried the brick over the freaking Mountain!
3rd Place: Josh Hess stole the zip line tour for 3rd.

In the women's division, Emma Stayduhar did a triple pirouette on the finish line and brought home the rubber chicken, the massage and the zip line tour.

Spencer Horton swept the primes with the longest wheelie, biggest Beacon Big Air, and he launched his kite on the summit of Mt Spokane in near hypothermic conditions. As they say in Quebec, "He iz zee REAL rid-AIRE!!"

Chris Cavanaugh won the "carpool to the ride" prime.

And I unwittingly won the "called in for a 14 hour night shift as soon as this thing is over" prime.

Thanks everyone, let's do this shit again!!

​footage reel to follow...

A Big Thanks

...to everyone who came out, you made this thing a blast! And thanks to those who couldn't make it for all their enthusiasm, and to all the shops for their support.

We'll be back for round two on Sunday, October 6, 2019! You keep it dirty, Spokanza, and enjoy the new release from the official band of The Dirty Spokanza, The Weird Sisters:
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